con·sti·tu·tive

"the heart of it is this: to make the Lord and his immense love for you constitutive of your personal worth. define yourself radically as one beloved by G-d. G-d's love for you and his choice of you constitute your worth. accept that, and let it become the most important thing in your life."
[John Eagan]

i picked this quote up out of the rabbi's heartbeat by Brennan Manning; it is an amazing little book, let me know if you want to borrow it sometime.

this quote brings up a common theme that has (thanks to Donald Miller and his newfound celebrity status) seemed to quietly penetrated the Christian community. That theme being: "who do you get your approval from" or "is G-d's love truly enough? are you acting like it is?" etc. etc. these are great thoughts, and i am thrilled to see these ideas are becoming a hot topic. i love that word: constitutive. he uses it twice which means either it's important, or that Eagan was stuck in a word-rut...i like to think of the usage as stressing great importance on the word.

con·sti·tu·tive [kon-sti-too-tiv, -tyoo-]
–adjective
1. forming an essential element of something.
2. having power to establish or give organized existence to something.

G-d's love is constitutive of my personal worth. do we understand how huge this statement is? he is saying that this love should be the essential element, the organizing existence of my personal worth. if this statement was to ring true in me what kind of differences would become apparent? the core of my being, everything about me (inside and out) is completely held together by this love, i would have everything that i am invested in this mysterious undefinable love. sounds great, doesn't it? to be at peace, to have G-d and His love the most important thing in your day to day life. that sounds great to me. but what is preventing me from making this the most important thing to me? is it my desire to be loved in a terrestrial sense? have i become so addicted and reliant on human love that i am blind to the true beauty of G-d's love? now, this is an important question, if my worth is being upheld by something as higgledy-piggledy as human, judgmental minds then there is something radically wrong. not only radically wrong but that puts my complete being in extreme danger. i understand that this isn't ground breaking...i know that this is the same message we have heard since sunday skool. but it seems like that is all we have done, heard it. a very few people are living as if G-d is their essential element (myself included)- so I'm going to (re)begin my journey to making G-d's love constitutive to my personal worth (or at least closer to that than i am now).

next wednesday (feb. 21) is Ash Wednesday, thus beginning lent. this idea of defining myself as one radically beloved by G-d has successfully penetrated my head and i have been itching for change. so this lent season:
1) i will refrain purchasing clothes of any-type.
2) i will have my mirror covered at all times.
3) i will only log into facebook once a week.
3 1/2) rather than virtual and impersonal messages, i will hand write and deliver a note each day to a different person encouraging them, etc. (except for kyle, i will write him an email :])
EDIT: 4) no more hot showers.

(since lent is still over a week away this list is subject to change, but probably not much.)

i encourage whoever is reading this to also take part in giving up something for lent. if you want to talk about it, or whatever please let me know; i am excited and i would love to share the experience!